C-Section Delivery

30 hours of labor but I didn't have a baby to show yet! My OBGYN noticed that my baby's heart beat is dipping, so they temporarily took out the medication (oxytocin). My baby's heartbeat returned to normal. They unplugged the Doppler external fetal monitor or the two transducers that is held in place by elastic belts around my belly and put an internal baby monitor inside me instead. I got scared when I've seen what they're going to put inside me ( a small tube with thin wires - connected to a tiny spiral wire that they attached to the part of my baby closest to the cervix to pick up my baby's heart beat). I'm so afraid that they might burst an internal organ or something after all whenever they gave me a pelvic exam their hand come out bloody. I noticed that they have long fingernails and even though they wore gloves i wonder if that is the reason their gloved hands came out bloody. Who knows what is happening inside me? What I can't see petrified me! I appeared calm though I just tried to look in my husband eyes whenever my doctor or midwife do something that scares me. After a certain time they give me the medication again and my baby got distressed again as shown by her heart beat. Because I had good contractions all though the night (2-3 minutes interval) without my baby being distressed they concluded that my baby couldn't tolerate the medication and yet they told me without the medication my contraction would not be strong enough to open my cervix sufficiently. I was only 5cm dilated then so they decided a c-section delivery was needed.

They gave my husband a gown, cap, mask and even something for his feet and told him to put them on while they get me ready. They wheeled me to the operating room . I wanted to arrange my legs becuse they are in the awkward position and I felt so exposed but I couldn't anymore because they felt so numbed I coldn't moved them no matter how hard I tried. They rolled from the bed that I've been using for almost two days to the operating table.

They asked me questions like do you know what is going to happen? asked me what process I'm about to have or something to that effect and they made me signed after each question by rolling my fingertips on the appropriate space in the document they held.

They put my arms perpendicular to my body that it made me think I'm almost lying in a cross. My left hand's middle finger was hooked up to a heartbeat monitor (I found this out when I'm already in the recovery room, I asked the nurse what is the purpose of the clamplike plastic attached to my middle finger). My right arm was not connected to anything but they still spread it out shoulder level. They also put an inflated plastic blanket on top of my shoulders and arms. This emitted heat and the anesthesiologist told me that he could adjust the heat higher if I want to. I was trembling so badly. I found out later that I had a reaction to the anesthesia. When I was still in the labor/delivery room I thought that I feel cold after I was given a pain killer but there is a niggle of suspicion already that I had a reaction to pai n killers but I just ignored it.

Although there is a blanket of barrier so my husband and I couldn't see the process we knew what is happening because we watched a video of cesarean delivery during the birth classes that we attended. Aside from this. I can still feel their fingers even though I don't feel any pain.